In Silence and In Gist
the peace that echos
It’s 11:37 pm, and the sun finally decided to rest. I thought I’d skip this week's newsletter because of a lack of inspiration, but I’m happy to announce sleep deprivation has its perks, so here we go. You’re probably reading this on Monday, and that is because my girlfriend insists on reading every letter before it goes out. I find it cute. Plus, she didn’t read last week’s before I published. Sorry for the delay, but I still love my good morning texts and calls. Today's conversation revolves ironically around silence. There is something inherently beautiful about enjoying silence together.
When I was a young boy between the age of 6 to 10, I’d play with friends from dawn to dusk during holidays. There was always something to do. We’d play police and thief, freeze, suwe, and I call on, to name a few. The ability to find something to do, watch or talk about signalled that everything was good with our relationship. As we transitioned into adulthood, the dynamics of our interactions began to shift, and silence took on a new significance. Apart from the occasional Saturday football, we spend most of our time within the four walls of an apartment. You can call it a club, a bar, a restaurant or anything.
A lot of our interactions as adults revolve around gist and silence. While gisting could be easy to navigate, silence can be a tsunami. To sit in silence and enjoy one's company can be awkward, especially when familiarising yourself with someone. I remember going to my friend's house after school and being in the room, quiet, doing our thing but enjoying our company. There is a bond you establish with someone or a group of people where you can find peace in silence. You don’t need to talk to be heard or move for them to see you.
In between gist and silence, you build something special. I love it when I can just have the people around me existing in the background. For me, the one sure way to test how much comfortable you are with someone is how much you can stay in the same room in silence before it gets awkward. I wrote all this to say I like sitting silently with my babe while she does random things in the background, and I probably scroll on Twitter. No pressure to find something to talk about. Although, she often threatens to return to her Korean movie if I don’t have what to say.
On a serious note, I don’t know if it’s a me thing, but I don’t enjoy silence with many people. I’m usually awkward when interacting with people for the first time, and I try to make up for it so they don’t think I’m boring. So, finding people with whom I can be myself around is a breath of fresh air. It’s 00:14 noon, and I’m about to send this to Madam to read before I send it to you. Hopefully, you have people you can enjoy silence with. The world is noisy enough.
I hope you enjoyed reading this, I’m wishing you a wonderful week ahead.
Thank you for this! As someone who thrives in silence, I know it doesn't have to be awkward. And as the queen of awkward situations, I know it is awkward only if you make it awkward.
Many times when I chitchat with someone and it falls silent they say oh no awkward silence... I say no, it's comfortable silence.
Sitting in my room at 10:22am with a generator from the house behind ours slamming in my head, yes, it is a very noisy place. Thanks💗